It feels so real. I can see it clearly in my mind. I've dreamed it, I've prayed for it, I've longed for it with every cell in my body. This morning I've dreamed it again. Now I lay here, my eyes still closed. Savouring the joy, letting the thrill of what my soul longs for run through my spirit. I hear my son's voice, and feel his joy as he breaks free from the chains of non-speaking autism and relentless seizures. The hope, the dream, takes a breath and exhales out in visions that dance...
5 months ago • 4 min read
You most likely know I have a son with autism...perhgaps some of you do as well. I write about the challenges of raising, living with unpredictable seizures, and finding purpose. He's been really sick for a few years now, and our life has been challenged and changed drastically. He doesn't leave the house much. He's weak a lot, and he struggles with life outside of his control. I went to put his iPad on the charger and for whatever reason, his pictures were scrolling across the screen. I...
7 months ago • 5 min read
This holiday season has got me wondering if... you or I, or any of us really try to understand what other people are dealing with? Is it really possible to put ourselves in other people's shoes? It's a common theme of the broken- hearted..."No one understands me!" And I'm wondering...could they be right? I began asking myself that question...the last few months. I ended up in several situations where I was definitely confused and wished for understanding. Why would someone say something so...
8 months ago • 6 min read
"Strong!" Try to make 'em all think I'm strong. Yeah, the face I keep putting on says I ain't tired. But these tear-stained eyes ain't lying. Cause hard, nobody told me life could be so hard. A weary soul with a worn out heart that's barely beating. But every time I get that feeling...I hit my knees with my hands held high, saying "dear lord Jesus! You know I can't do this on my own." I FEEL this song. Way down deep, all the way to my bone marrow. Watching it climb the charts...means that...
about 1 year ago • 9 min read
Howdy! (I had to say that, I'm from Texas!) I've only met about half of the folks on my email list, face to face. The other half, know me through my books or blogs. If you are wondering how I found you, it was through a contest you entered with Booksweeps. You traded your email address for a chance to win books, and hear about big discounts on books in the future. Like a firm southern handshake, you can count on, I'm keeping my end of the bargain. That's what this email is about...an ebook...
over 1 year ago • 2 min read
Here I sit in the waiting room. Not the doctor's office, but the waiting space, where I wait for Britton to take a breath. His face tinged blue, his eyes stare at nothing...he's not even gasping. No sign of life...my mind spins the what if's. My heart feels huge, pressing against my throat, choking me as I try to pray. Then, there's that tiny moment, between desperate prayers and no answers that eclipses the tick tock of the clock. The place of waiting, between the nonstop praying and the far...
over 2 years ago • 4 min read
How are you faring in this hot hot..."did we move closer to the Equator this summer, somehow?" Not only has it been a hot summer at our house, it has been an anxiety filled one. Britton seized in the pool, and ended up in ICU. Randy and I stayed tied in knots until we knew he was stable. We looked at each other and wondered... "How will we continue to live from tragedy to tragedy?" Our last day in ICU, my anxiety was in the stratosphere. I was dealing with my dad's imminent passing. My...
about 3 years ago • 4 min read
Going through some really old photos...I came across one of me and my sisters. I was maybe nine, wearing my favorite go go boots, and mini skirt. I had a big 'ole pout on my face, bottom lip out and my arms crossed. I laughed at how angry I was that day. I remembered saying to my momma, "That's not fair!" She looked at me with tired eyes, and a whole lot of life experience and said, "That's exactly right! Life isn't fair, and the sooner you learn that the better off you'll be!" It infuriated...
about 3 years ago • 3 min read
We've had seven good days in a row. Which we feel we seriously earned...we had so many bad ones I lost count. I was about to wallow in my misery when we finally turned a corner, and the God of all mercies lifted the darkness. Britton swam up slowly from all that weighed him down beneath the waves of behaviors and smiled bigger than the moon. He laughed and then he giggled...he ran and jumped in his bed. He was free of whatever held him...at least for now. It's an insurmountable difficulty......
over 4 years ago • 2 min read